Today I read a FB post that tells a story most people know: Girl meets boy boy meets girl they fall in love and live happily ever after right? Well, if you have any tad bit of a decent brain you would know that this is clearly not the case. sorry, sidetracked
Back to my story!
this post said somthing that unusually stunned me as I had done it myself. This was not a post about falling "in love" this was about protecting yourself or atleast thats what I did. I decided that the perfectly nice sweet amazing decent kindest guy iv ever had the honor and pleasure to know and call my friend wasn't worth the risk.
Did i feel somthing? Maybe
Did I try to even think about my actions and how they could ruin everything in the future? HAHA no..
I am not a truley run with your emotions and let they fly thru the wind person. I am logical, intellgent and independent. I thought i wanted one thing and in the end what i wanted was totally wrong for me. Though i didnt go for a d-bag or someone who truley hurt me. The most pain I experienced was the after affects of me protecting myself from a future.
To add pain to an insult I had two oppertunities and both I shot down without a glance. No second check, no doubt, and with no hesitation. Two oppertunities two HUGE acts of courage, and two very differing acts of cowardess on my part.
For those who say oh, no big deal, it doesnt matter, why should I care? You and those like you are probably right. In the whole sceme of thigs with the world in perrspective it doesnt matter and you shouldn't care about one measley person on the spec of life that is our planet. If I was in your position i wouldnt care about a teenage girl who has the nerve to put for some odd reason everthing out and into the universe. But, I am not in your position. I am that girl. I deserve a voice.
As does this article from the possible perspective of the one I hurt. Feel my regret and confussion and possibly acknowlage your own.
Miss E
